Solving your Kids' Room Chaos
Can you relate to this featured photo? Is your kids' room always a chaotic mess? You are most definitely not alone!
The little girl's room in this photo is the beginning state of one that I was hired to get organized, and to coach the girl and her mom on how to keep it organized. This room along with her sister's room were huge challenges. This challenge was one that I was familiar with. Many of my client's were trying to deal with this type of utter chaos, disorganization, and constant mess of their kids' rooms.
I have worked with many parents and families who always felt like they were running into brick walls when it came to getting their children to keep their rooms neat and clean. Being a mother who was always driven by organization and order, especially in my children's rooms, I have figured out the reason for the chaos as well as the solution.
As I worked with the children of these rooms, along the side of their mother, the main thing that I stressed to them was that the biggest reason their children cannot keep their rooms neat and clean is because they have too much stuff! Simple as that. Most children have too many toys, too many hair accessories, too many stuffed animals, too many nic nacs, too many art supplies, and other unnecessary gadgets. We all fall into the trap of thinking that the more stuff our children have, the better entertained and the happier they will be. This is truly not the case.
Children naturally have short attention spans. Having too much stuff complicates their ability to stay focused on their favorite treasures for very long.
Below, I have copied and pasted a paragraph from an article posted by Day 2 Day Parenting. This article gives you a good idea of the average attention span of children by age. Click on the title below to read the full article. Although this article is specifically talking about the classroom and learning environment, this rule of thumb also applies to their everyday life including play time.
Children ages 5-6 years old typically can attend to one activity that is of interest to them for around 10-15 minutes at a time and should generally be able to filter out small distractions occurring simultaneously in the environment. They may only be able to attend to an assigned classroom activity for only 5-10 minutes particularly if they find it uninteresting or difficult for them and do not have adult guidance to stay on task. As a guideline some research suggests using a child’s age as a general starting point for the number of minutes a child can attend to a single assigned task…so 5 minutes for a 5 year old, 7 minutes for a 7 year old, etc. Small groups of children may be able to play together for 15 minutes or up to a 1/2 hour if they are engaged in novel, interesting play activities. Children ages 6-7 years may be able to sustain attention to one interesting or novel task for as long a 30 minutes. Typically in kindergarten and 1st grade getting kids motivated, interested and engaged in the lesson is the key way of holding their attention. It also helps to keep lessons shorter and intersperse movement activities in between your lessons that require sitting and focusing behaviors. Another key to success in sustaining attention with young children is to have a teacher or aide in the classroom who is always able to help with new, difficult or frustrating tasks and who can intervene and provide cues to stay on task before a child loses interest.
The above paragraph speaks of children up to 7 years-old. However, you can apply the same rules for an older child by adding the number one to the child or teen's age. For example, when trying to determine the average time of attention span of a ten year old you add 1+10=11 minutes. Some children and teens are much more focused than others and can hold their attention to one specific task or activity longer than the average child. They, just as those with a short attention span still may need to be encouraged to stay on track and focus on one activity at a time.
What I have found as a parent and as a professional organizer is that, even though they are not aware of it, children are highly overwhelmed when they have too much stuff in their bedrooms or play areas. The saying, "less is more," truly does work better in a child's room when it comes to them being able to focus and not quickly jump from one toy or project to the next. They will play with a toy for as long as their attention span allows them to be interested and then toss it aside and go on to the next. This same theory goes for older children who have outgrown toys and who are now into beads, art, make up, Legos, puzzles, jewelry, etc. Even though we tell them to put away what they are finished with before they bring out more toys, in their minds they aren't finished with what they first brought out. Their minds become scattered and they have difficulties processing the organizational factor of playing with so many things.
So, what's the solution to this common problem? There are a few solutions. One, don't buy them as much stuff especially not as much little, tiny stuff. Two, if they already have a lot of stuff, purge, rotate and organize. Three, when you do buy your children new things, practice the rule that for each new thing they have to swap it out for something they already have. The child can choose to add the swapped item to their rotation tub (I will explain this next), choose to throw away a damaged item, or choose to donate the swapped item to a less fortunate child.
A rotation system is a perfect solution...
A rotation system is a system that I have tried and have found works very well. When your children have too much stuff and you don't want to purge half of it, pack up half of their stuff in storage containers and put them up in a closet or attic for 3-6 months. Use containers such as cardboard boxes or plastic tubs. Be sure to label the containers with the child's name and the date that you put it away. If you are using more than one storage container be sure to label them by numbers. For example, if you have three containers, label them '1 of 3', '2 of 3', and '3 of 3'.
After these packed away toys have been out of sight and out of mind for 3-6 months pull that container down and swap out the other half of toys for the ones that were packed away. You will begin to notice signs of when it is time to rotate by their obvious boredom and lack of interest in certain items. When you pull out what was tucked away and rotate, it will be like Christmas all over again because the toys will be new to the child again. Keep in mind that you don't want to do this with anything that offers a feeling of security to your child such as security blanket or a favorite stuffed animal.
You will need to decide ahead of time if you want to pack up for rotation while your child is away or with your child's help. Mind you, it will be more difficult, and stressful, if you do this with your child. Suddenly, their forgotten toys that were buried under a pile of other things is in sight and now a toy they think they can't do without for even a day. If you sort through their obviously forgotten items while they are away, you will have much better luck in packing them away. I always packed up at least half of my kid's things and they never noticed what was gone because I did it while they were in school or at a sleep over. This goes to show you that the kids were overwhelmed with how much stuff they had and it proves that they didn't even remember what all they had. When they came back home and were able to clearly see what was there to play with it, was like it was Christmas all over again. I realized then that they were better able to stay focused on what was left for them to play with, and then they appreciated what they had much more.
Warning...you will feel overwhelmed while you sort to keep, purge or rotate. And, while you are feeling overwhelmed think about how overwhelmed your child feels when they are told to clean up that mess. It is our job to teach them to clean up behind themselves, but we must realize that often it is our own fault that their room is in such a mess because we give them too much.
Here's how to organize the chaotic room... "trash, keep, donate, rotate"
When I was hired to establish an organized system for the room featured in this post's photos, the first thing we did was dig through the mess on the floors. I set up three tubs. One for "keep" things, one for "donate", and one for "rotate". Plus, we had a trash can and some extra trash bags nearby. The 7 year-old girl, her mother, and I sat in the floor and sorted through the hundreds of tiny pieces and bunches of other items. Together, the mother and the child made the decisions of what to throw away, what to donate or rotate, and what to keep in the room.
Having the child work with us was a little more frustrating for the mother because often what the mom wanted to throw away the child didn't, even if it was purely trash or a broken item. While sorting through tiny things like barbie clothes and shoes (if we could find the matching shoe) and art supplies, we placed them in some small containers and zipper pouches that she already had on hand. We through away a lot of broken things and honestly, stuff that was truly just trash. Then, we put things in a box for donations and some in the 'rotate' boxes.
There were moments when I had to counsel the child to help her understand what we were doing, and I coached her on how nice it would be to be able to focus on the few things that she keeping in her room. I explained to her that after at least three months when she grew tired of what she had in her room she could have the most fun packing that stuff and unpacking her rotate box that had been tucked away. Plus, I showed her some ideas of how we would decorate her room once we could walk in it and she then became more and more excited.
Eventually, we were successful in getting her room cleaned up and in establishing an organized system for her favorite toys. We also organized her closet and drawers and rearranged her bedroom to give her more place space. We used what she already had to decorate her room the way she wanted it. At the end of the day, the child and her mother were very happy. I heard from the mother that since our day of organizing her room, the little girl spent much more time in her room, cleaned up behind herself and had become much more creative with her art supplies. Notice in the photo below the difference in how much bigger her room looks when cleaned up, organized, and rearranged.
Hopefully, you will be able to tackle the chaos in your kids' rooms and at the same time teach your children how to keep it organized and that less really is more.
Watch for more posts in the near future regarding how to organize various parts of your home and your life. I welcome comments and questions, you may also email me for private coaching on your organizing needs.
The end results after organizing the room in the photo above:
